your thong is hanging out like whoa
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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