okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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