I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
