So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
