I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have aggressive nipples.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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