yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize