I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
