there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
