I can't watch pbs sober anymore
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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