Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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