You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
