Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize