standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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