Grow some girl-balls and come out already
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
