My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
