Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize