I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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