Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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