singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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