Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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