What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
