There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
