my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
