dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
