bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
