Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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