Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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