all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
