We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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