my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
