My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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