you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize