You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
