speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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