This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
