My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
