so that wasnt chicken after all
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
