I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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