3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
