you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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