do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So squirting runs in the family.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
