Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
