She just used a chaser for red wine.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
