she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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