I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
