The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
