I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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