If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
