She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
