i think my tv is drunk
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
