I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
