U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
