There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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