if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
