I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
