Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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