i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I have post one night stand depression
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
