Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
