Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
