Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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